I will forgive you

I will forgive my father because it is just the right thing to do. Even though I think that he would not care, it would be worth a try. There would be times where I would start crying in the middle of the night because I miss him. I do not have memories about seeing him because whenever he was around I was too young to remember. I do have pictures of him and I would look at them and say why did he have to leave? Was it my fault? Was I the cause of his absence? I would always ask my mom where did he go and why did he leave me. All she could do is say he was not ready to be a father and it is him who is losing out on me and my stepping stones in life. I think that if I were to see him in person I would not even get mad at the fact that he missed 16 years of my life but that he actually cared enough to come see me. There would be times where I would look at the sky and ask God if he could just talk some sense into my father or even open his eyes and let him know that he does have a daughter. I always look myself in the mirror and think out loud saying " Wow he is truly missing out on the best thing that ever happened to him". He does not even have to apologize to me whenever I do get the chance to go meet him. Yes I do think that the outcome would change after we met but then again I do not just because I would be afraid of him leaving me all alone and abandoned again. He makes me feel lost in life. I look at all of my other friends who have both their parents in their life and how happy they are. I used to always wish that I could go back into time to meet my father and tell him no matter what do not leave me alone in this corrupted world. Now that I am much older I still do not understand why he left me as a baby and never looked back. I know that everything is not meant to be understood but this is just one of those situations where I need to understand as to why he left. I will forgive him not just for his sake but for my sake. I do not need to walk around looking sad all of the time because some young dumb idiot left me because he could not handle his responsibilities.
So no I do not think that the outcome would change no matter how much I want his apology. My dad from what I heard is the type to say one thing and do something the complete opposite. If the outcome were to change this situation I would hope that he would come to see me more often or call me or something just to let me know that he cares. I think that all children need both parents in their life. My heart longs for his love but this I know I will never have but I will save a piece of my heart for him to fill in.

Love

To be apart of a family like mine 
is so divine 
where love is shown 
hurt is shared 
our love for each other is never impaired 

we talk 
we laugh 
we cry 
but we are a family 
and we do it all together 
for as a family 
we do it all as one 

If they hurt one of us
then they hurt all of us
and as a family unit 
we will all stand tall 
for we are family 
a family full of strength 
a family full of love 
a family no one can touch 

I think that love is important to the human because without it what would there be. We would walk through the days alone and miserable and we would not have pets, furniture, clothes, family or friends. We would not have family because there was no love so there were no births and we would not have pets because they would die without love. We would have no clothes or furniture because we would not love what we bought so we would not buy it. We would have no friends because if there is not love why bother. 

The feeling of being rejected .

Stereotypes
Are everywhere.
No way to go incognito
No way to change the label
Theirsurname represents.
No alter egos
No fantasies to hide behind.
Contrast
Black and white, sour and sweet, good and bad
No microscope to examine little details
Only lumpiness forms and masses
The new age of dissonance begins
With rejection and judgment as its allies
No more sonnets or niceties
Only hate notes and whispered mockery
In a decade, maybe
This will all be forgotten
But for now
There can be no amity.
Only its opposite.

  The greatest terror a child can have is that he is not loved, and the rejection he fears. I think everyone in this world…has felt rejection. And with rejection comes anger, and with anger some kind of crime guilt-and there is the story of mankind. To me rejection is in some way, shape or form of bullying. When one gets bullied he or she may feel rejection, anger and some form of guilt because they may feel like they were the main reason to why the bullier did not like him or her. I myself have been socially rejection numerous times. I felt like I was the black sheep or the outsider looking in. Everybody else had so many plans and I would ask them if I could join and they pretty much said no because nobody likes me and I just did not fit in. When I heard those words being said to me, my immediate response was to walk away and cry. I cried not only tears of anger but tears of being betrayed, hurt, and not important. As I grew older, I realized that I did not need too many people to hang out with because not everything is meant for me to do. I do not have to go out every weekend just to feel like one of the "girls" or like everybody else. I finally realized that I am a mature person who is an original and does not need anybody else to tell her that. So if somebody wants to reject me from their little hang out, then that is totally fine with me because I know who I am and if I want to feel good or go out, I do not need to do what the other girls do just to feel good about themselves.