What if money was no object?

If money was no object would I change the way I live or would I change anything at all?

Honestly, I would not change a thing.I love  my life. I love the way I live it as well.

There is a poet named Robert Frost. One of his poems is called "After Apple Picking". In this poem, Frost is using metaphors to convey a message of a hard life. Frost has worked all of his life, so I think he is trying to help the readers see his point of view as far as a hard working life goes.

 Frost uses metaphors in his poems to help readers understand the importance of having determination and hard work. "For all that struck the earth, No matter if not bruised or spiked with stubble, Went to the cider-apple heap As of no worth" -Frost. I think that this quote means that no matter what Frost did, it was never good enough. This ties into my statement when I said that Frost is using metaphors to convey a hard working life because to me no matter what I do it never seems to be good enough for anybody. When I hear this, I think he is saying to live my life with no regrets, so that in the end I can say that I did what I needed to do and that I handled my business on my own without anybody helping me. 

Frost conveys a message of a hard worked life waiting to end through imagery by using very descriptive words. "One can see what will trouble This sleep of mine, what ever sleep is"-Frost. I think that this quote means that at the end of my life, look back and see what I regret. See what opportunities I missed out on. At the end I will only live for me and me only. Frost uses metaphors and imagery to convey or to get his point across to readers, is that life is not a fairytale. If I want something in life, I have to work for it because nobody is just going to give it to me. If I want to be somebody or do something in life, I have to go out there and get it when I can because like I said, nobody will just give it to me freely. I want to be an obstetrician when I get older. I have always wanted to in this type of profession since I was about 4 years old. If my mom were to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say a baby doctor, or somebody who helps the mommy have to baby. If money were no object I would still be and OB because it is what my heart wants and soul desires. I would still take care of my patients as if they were my own family members. I would treat them with respect because I believe that everybody deserves respect. If money were to be an object, I would still treat the people the same as if money never existed. I would treat the people with respect because no matter the skin color, what they did in the past, or who they are, everybody deserves respect. WE are all human beings, we make mistakes but we learn from them in some part of life.

Somethings may never change

"What is one thing that you want to change in life?" I ask myself that all the time. I guess if there was really one thing that I would like to change is the absence of my biological father not being in my life. This has a great effect on me because I feel like it is my fault why he left. My mom says that it is not my fault. She says that he was not ready to be a father yet. I still think to this very day that it is my fault. Everyday I ask myself why he left. I always asked, 'Is it my fault that he left?' 'Am I the reason why he was not ready to be a father?'. Every since I was 7 years old, I always thought that I never  had a dad. Only my other 2 brothers. About 2 or 3 years ago, I finally had the guts to ask my mom why my real dad left. She sat me down and was basically saying that I was never the cause of him leaving me. She said that he loved me but I did not believe her because if he loved me, he would have never left me in the first place. He would have stuck with my mom, or if they did not work out, he could have at least came by to see me every once in a while. It hurts me to know that my dad really did not give a care about me. I do not even think he would care if I died or not. At times I would cry myself to sleep over him because I wanted to know why he left me and nobody had answers to why he did. It still hurts me very badly. Everyday I keep a smile on my face, or at least try to keep one, because I know that I can succeed in life with or without him. He does not determine my future. If he never a day in his life never cared about me, that is okay because he does no know what he is missing out on. I mean yeah he missed out on birthdays and special events, but hey that is life. If I should meet him one day, I would ask him why he left me for all of these years and not even come to hi or even say good bye. Why he chose his girl over his own daughter. His own flesh and blood. If he did came back to see me, I think it would have an effect on everybody. Both good and bad. Good because I would finally put that missing piece of the puzzle together and be happy again. Bad because I would have this anger towards him mainly because of his absence. The lord says "You cannot forgive somebody unless you forgive yourself". I forgave myself and I forgave him. It is up to him whether he wants to change for the good or the bad. Some people may never change.

I'll be there

Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You have had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you have written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the l

etter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they have said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still does not know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and does not stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend does not know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She did not succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we have NEVER talked before, I’m here for you.

My inspiration

My favorite type of music would be Old School Hip-Hop. My favorite rapper is The Notorious B.I.G. ( birth name Christopher George Latore Wallace). He grew up in Brooklyn New York, living in the project type neighborhoods. Before he started his own career in the music industry, he sold drugs for a living. One day him and a few friends were having a rap competition and a well known rapper "Lil Kim" had over heard them and she told one of her friends, her friends told their friends, and their friends told another friend. It was basically word of mouth. Well the word had finally came to the rapper P.Diddy . He just had to meet "Biggie Smalls"; he called him. After their meeting P.Diddy basically told him that  if he continues to sell drugs, he will not be signed to the record label. Biggie said he wants to be one of the greatest . So he gave up the dope game and signed with P.Diddy. When I first heard one of Biggie's songs, I just fell in love with it. He is my inspiration. When ever I hear any of his songs, I get inspired to do great things. Others may think that he is talking about inappropriate things. I think he is talking about how he came from living in the projects to living in a mansion. I think all of his songs are talking about his success in his life and career. I do not just like any of his songs, I love his songs. I think he is saying no matter where you live, how you live, what you do, or what you did, who you are, or who you are trying to be, you can make it in this messes up world. Anybody can be something in life. It is not just going to come to anyone, but that someone has to come and get it on their own. This is why he is my favorite rapper.
 (the rap competition)